Tuesday, August 9, 2011

the search for food

It might be time for lunch.  Possibly dinner.  I've got no idea- still lost in time.  

I'm awake, and it's apparently some sort of daylight.  The $5 can of Pringles is starting to look good, so it's time to finally venture out and find food.

Success! Immediately in front of the hotel is a Subway.  I can cross 'die of starvation' off of my Worried Things That Could Happen list.  'Eat food meant for human beings' still unchecked though.  There's no way I'm eating Subway unless I really AM starving, so the search will continue.
An improvement- there's a Burger King.  It's called the "BK Whopper Bar", which gives me hope that perhaps this BK serves alcohol.  Still- there's a cringing soul death to eating such American food when I'm this far away.  Search continues.

Holy smokes: so THAT'S what the noise was while I tried to sleep through the Singapore day.  The hotel is right next to some sort of restaurant/nightclub/party/tourist district.  It's packed full of people (I'm assuming they're all tourists, even the Asian ones).  Every shop appears to be a restaurant.  HERE is where I'll find someplace to eat.  I spent a good 45 minutes walking around, trying to not lose my bearings of where the hotel is.  I'd hate to lose it and have to take a taxi to my hotel a block away because I'm lost.  Most of the restaurants look good, but they also appear to be totally set up for families and large groups.  And that's exactly who's eating at all of them.  I stroll by a Hooters- yes, there's a Hooters here.  A quick glance tells me that it's the saddest place on earth, and I keep walking.
There's a huge restaurant called Jumbo seafood- I like the sound of that.  I have visions of gigantic prawns the size of footballs dancing in my head.  No luck: this place is packed, and I'm too self conscious at the moment to sit by myself at a table for 8.  

I finally decide on Octapas, which is -hold onto your minds- a Tapas restaurant.  Their tables look to be no more than 3 people, so I won't look like such a loser tourist here by myself.  The waiter walks up:  "you waiting on a date?"  No.  "You looking to hook up?"  No (well...yes....but no, no...what the? no.).  I still want seafood- I order the fried squid rings.  The waiter hovers.  Clearly I haven't ordered enough.  I add on the fried potatoes.  And a Pepsi.  
The tv is showing the Live8 concert from a few years back for some reason.  Like the rest of the civilized world, I completely ignored that concert.  Watching these highlights, I clearly missed out on the stupidest concert of all time.  Let me digress from the exciting world of Tapas in Singapore to tell you about Live8:
- hmm...Sting has the crowd rocking.  People LOVE Sting.
- Chris Tucker is on stage in a huge white jacket.  It probably cost him $2000.  He introduces himself and says that the point of the concert is to eradicate global poverty.  "For once and for all."  Two seconds of thinking makes me realize that the only way this is remotely possible is for Everyone On Earth to agree to evenly share all the money & resources in the world.  This concert is even stupider than I ever would have imagined.  Chris Tucker concludes his 30 seconds of introduction by saying "..and speaking of destiny... Destiny's Child!!!!"
- Beyonce looks like a drag queen.  Even more than usual.  
- Beyonce keeps moving apart from the other two, but then remembers it's not a solo show and walks back to be near them.  She acknowledges Kelly Rowland exists, but at this point I'd guess she can't even remember the third one's name.
- Beyonce's weave probably cost more than Chris Tucker's jacket.  I wonder if anyone even told her that this concert was about poverty.  Probably not.  I sure wouldn't- that drag queen has a stare of death, I'm sure of it.
- Destiny's Child was playing in Philadelphia.  The American part of this concert was in Philly?  That's stupid (and yes, I know the original Live Aid's US portion was in Philadelphia).  
- Although, I'm guessing Philly DOES know and care about poverty.  
- Next up:  Bryan Adams live from Canada.  I wonder if people shout out Ryan Adams song requests. I wonder if he plays a song written later than 1991. 

BACK to the Tapas.  The food is okay.  Surprisingly, not as good as the Atlanta tapas places.  I get a refill on Pepsi and realize refills aren't free as I watch the waiter put that on my bill.  Crud- it's one of THOSE countries.  I've eaten 10 squid rings, about 8 potato wedges, and two Pepsis.  This costs me $40.  
I celebrate by taking 20 minutes to find the Haagen Dazs cart I passed 4 times, and spent another $10 on two scoops. 

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